Don’t Ask Me Don’t Need Me Don’t Whine

book11-6 copy

1994 gouache on paper 16 x 20 inches

I have found my feelings of not being worthy of being loved to be the hardest to shake, almost impossible to shake, in fact.  I realize now my mother must have felt trapped or maybe she just didn’t want me.  I tried to make her love me.

Mother  May 9, 1994

You used to seem so huge

Your size your vibes

Were so much bigger than mine

You were like a great neon sign

Flashing your message:

Don’t ask me Don’t need me Don’t whine

Now I see you how you really were.

Your vacant eyes Your empty breast Your hollow womb

You were like a living tomb.

At least now I can see how

You couldn’t love me.

© 2009